Getting Back my routine

I have recently sick for two weeks.

At first I thought it was a stomach bug. Turns out it was pancreatitis caused by gall stones. Had to have my gall bladder out.

Since then I have been suffering from anxiety. Well more than normal.

I can’t seems to get into my routine again. I have been suffering my agoraphobic  tendencies again. I even find it hard to go down stairs and do my washing. It takes all day to get myself down there. Not good when it gets damp down there so if I leave my washing on the line over night it ends up smelling damp.

My male friend has been coming over again, seriously I get sick of how often he comes over. At one point it was 6 nights straight with one night off then he was back again.

I swear it was almost as if he had moved in, except for bringing his stuff. He also suffers from depression. That’s how we met. We were both in the psych ward.

He has a back problem,  he’s had it for 31 years. Prolapsed disks with nerve damage. He had had enough and was thinking of hanging himself.

I am trying to pull myself out of the dark hole I was in. But, it’s as if his dark hole is trying to suck me in.

I need to break free of this, but, I have to be careful or it might send him back to where he was before. Only this time he may not call lifeline for help.


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