Still don’t know what to do.
I know I need the guidance.
But I also need to learn to stand on my own two feet.
This is the first time I have been by myself.
First it was my Parents, then my Ex.
Till now I have always lived with someone.
Had someone to pick up the slack. Prevent me from failing.
Now its all up to me.
Scary. I am left to find out who I am and I have no-one to talk to and discuss these subjects with.
I could go online and look for a Dom/Master. But, there are alot of fakes and wanna be’s. Men who just want a woman who will lay back and let them do what ever to them with out giving a shit about them in any other way except whats between their legs and how to get it.
Dangerous stuff that.
I have also been thinking how would my mental health affect this type of relationship.
Am I suitable? Any dom or Master would be taking on a hell of alot.
He would have to be special.
But I am afraid.
I did fall for the words of a “Dom”. Turns out he was just an asshole who wanted a maid and sex toy for free. If you didn’t do everything he wanted or disagreed with him in anyway you were bratty or a Domme Bitch. And I got this from him even though we weren’t in a relationship with him. We were only house mates.
Talk about control freak job. He always seemed to like putting me down. He had nothing good to say. Loved playing games with my mind, He knew I had a low self esteem at the time and love to say that our other house mate was saying this or that negative comment behind my back.
It really messes with your head with your vulnerable.