I don’t know.
I feel lost.
I have been feeling the need to be with someone who needs me. No wants me.
I want to make them happy. Cook for them, Clean for them. Just look after them and have them look after me. Both physically and emotionally…Sexually?
I have always had someone to catch me when I fall or stumble.
There is no one there anymore. I am lonely.
I know my friend is there but he is useless. Its all about him. Whether we are just talking, hanging out or in bed.
I get no satisfaction. I’ve only had one orgasm given to me and that was by “accident”, never on “purpose”. I swear I do a better job myself with my imagination.
The fantasy that I use always involves a strong man who knows what I want just by reading my body language or who knows what I want before I want it.
Someone who takes control and isn’t afraid to take control.
I am sick of being asked if I like this or that. If this or that feels good or my suggestions. Or what I tell them I like being ignored or worse not done properly.
I dream of my body being devoured, taken control of, of allowing myself to give myself over to someone else. Give them control. the power to satisfy themselves and me in ways I can’t even imagine.
What bliss that would be.